First attempt at a Terza Rima! Not finished yet :)

The rage in your eyes,

A distant reunion,

You cover the skies.

Without this you’d move on,

Fall down with the rain,

Define this delusion,

Detract from the pain;

The howl of your breathing

Fragments the strain.

I see that you’re grieving

God knows I am too,

To see her there bleeding

It broke you in two.

I’ll remember that night

Until I am through.

For Now

She takes a step back and

Wonders if this will be

Added to her long list of mistakes,

Or if those 9 weeks of

Happiness were really all that

Would have been given

Despite what she said

Or did to make you all

Turn away again,

Like a lost child

In a rainstorm, her

Socks soggy through

Her summer shoes,

Unable to deal with

What could have been avoided

Had her mother only seen the

Signs

And stopped her baby from

Going out alone again,

When she’d seen all too

Many times before the pain

A raindrop can cause her

Pale complexion when it has

Already been burned by the sun.

The splits in her skin

From days gone by,

The last time she barely survived it,

So to make her

Feel a monster for your

Own fraud is

Nothing

Short of cowardly.

This deceit belongs to you.

And when the

Midnight hail threatens

To crack the windows of

Her bedroom and destroy

Her final sanctuary,

She questions where

Her sanity truly lies, and

Wonders if this world even fits

Anymore,

Could there be another that

Doesn’t rub at the flesh

On her heels quite as harshly?

But for now she sits closer

To the line but not quite on it,

Because certain things are worth

Holding on to;

The children she has not yet

Held but loves irrevocably,

The songs she sings in the

Kitchen on winter nights in the

Amber glow of the refrigerator,

The call of cities 12 hours away

That beckon a new life where

Nobody feels it,

The coffee rings on writing desks

And sunlight tainted beautifully

By the windows on busses,

Muddy puddles or the

Glasses of a stranger reading

The newspaper.

The blue eyed boy with a

Gruff morning voice.

For now, they are enough.

Always This

My old home and a blue sky,

The evening sunlight in my eyes,

Remembering ’08 in winter fields

And back to summer on the lake

Describing my home to him thousands

Of miles away,

And how I forgot to tell him about

The Christmas lights

And the comfort of the cold air,

The children laughing on their way home

And the way it feels in October when I’m

Walking through soggy streets.

And how many worlds stand between us?

And my slice of his childhood 10 years

Ago still echoes,

And I wonder if I could ever really swap this life for

That; snow every December and ice skating

In the old school playground.

Would those memories ever replace what I

See now in front of me, would the seasons

Shift from orange trees to knee deep

In snow and rooms full of tinned food

Just in case?

Of this, I’m unsure because somehow,

Somewhere, I will always be this.

Always that bench and that first kiss,

Always that bridge where for one year things

Made sense,

Always that summer and those faces,

Always me and the other half of me

Discovered at 14 and never lost despite

What happened on New Year’s Eve three years ago.

Always the boy down the street who

Forgave what I did to him on Christmas Night

2009,

And the way he still comes around for coffee,

Asks about my Mother and says he likes

My new haircut.

And despite what he has to lose by being here

He stays still,

And does not falter in the name of new

Dedications or worrisome green eyed

Girls,

A loyalty I know won’t alter even

If the girl next door returns his

Affections and his voice echoes through

The thin walls of our shared home.

A silence and a city that

Glows with days passed;

My home for now,

My home forever

Even if my lungs take their

Final breath on a foreign land.

Never Do

Opposite the table, a simple way of saying it

Without even meaning to or wanting to,

Or knowing if you can.

But you say it, and I’m still

And gently contemplating my words.

Here is yours, but mine for now is hidden,

Because mine is worse in my own mind

Than it could ever be out loud.

Words will fail me and so would you if you knew.

So for now, I keep mine safe and away from

Questions and concerns,

And I know you kept yours buried until

I tore it from you accidentally,

And for that you know I’m sorry.

But bravely you continue like I know

I never could,

And I don’t judge you or

The others who have dropped theirs in front of me,

Some even wear it proudly.

But I only feel safe knowing mine

Belongs to me,

My past belongs to me

And this keeps me sane;

For until their eyes see what’s behind mine

They cannot judge the things I want,

Or say,

Or never do.  

So I Wrote A Song...

I didn’t know you had a story,

A hidden tale of fear and glory,

Trapped behind your eyes,

Baby.

I didn’t know if you could save me,

Take me away, and then just maybe,

Kiss me in the dark, parade me

Around the town in your new car,

We’d sit around and play guitar,

And laugh about the way we were,

How did we get here, how did we become who we are?

And I’ll never forget the way the sun shone,

The way that I felt when I knew that you were gone,

The feel of your bones pressed down on my bones,

The wind in our hair and the fear of the unknown.

I’ll always remember the sound of your footsteps,

Walking away as I cried on the doorstep,

Leaving me here with the taste of what could be,

A bitter reminder that you made me happy,

That I’d never be the person I could be,

That no one would ever see what you saw in me.

And I’ll think of you every time that the rain falls,

Every time the sun shines or the wind blows,

Every time my breath fogs up the glass,

Every time that I lay in the grass

Staring at the sky,

My part of your story ended with goodbye.